Sunday, April 19, 2015

Smothered and Covered

Right now I'm having anxiety about having anxiety tomorrow... and whether the anxiety medicine is going to calm my anxiety... tomorrow. That makes no sense, but in my mind, it's a whole thing. A WHOLE THING.

I have an MRI-guided breast biopsy at 6:30 a.m. tomorrow (Monday, 4/20). They're going to biopsy the new suspicious area and add another metal clip to my breast. I don't like MRIs. I especially don't like MRIs and needles in my girl business. When I'm done, they'll do another mammogram to check if the clip is properly placed. I'm praying they don't find any more cancer. We'll know by Wednesday.

Please pray for me. This is all starting to become very real with surgery possibly being as early as next Wednesday, 4/29. I don't feel ready. That's odd really because what would I need to have done to be ready? Caught up on work? A clean house? A full pantry? I realize how silly that is, but for some reason, all those daily concerns don't go away just because you have cancer. Lord, help me focus on the important things: your glory, my health, my family.

On the topic of family, the best part of my weekend was the time I spent with my son, Landon. We went to "our special place" (Waffle House!) and Game Stop. He and I have "dates" often. They're great fun! I've learned that if I show interest in his world he'll be more open to show interest in the topics I want to discuss. In fact, I know more than most moms about Minecraft, Stampy Cat, Pokemon, and all the best YouTubers. (You'll hear about dates with Leah in another post. Don't get all cray that she was left out...)

Silly faces!
Tony and Leah won't eat here. More for us!
Sometimes it's hard to hear about all these games over and over... and harder still to learn to play the games with him, which I do. But oh it's worth it! It's a fair trade to connect with him and openly dialogue on topics of faith, body changes, girls, and school. 

So the house isn't clean enough and the pantry isn't nearly full, but I had a blast with my son. Tomorrow during my MRI, my thoughts will be "smothered and covered" with memories from our date. The anxiety eases when I remember how he made me laugh. 

Until tomorrow,

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6


  1. Love following you in your blog....I personally think you need to keep this up are such an easy read and allow me to smile, laugh, cry and experience so many more emotions as I read about your day.....thanks
    and bask in our Lord's healing.

  2. Thank you so much Louella! Love you!

  3. Thank you so much Louella. Love you!