Monday, April 13, 2015

Sometimes I Can't Breathe

Like right now. It usually happens when I'm alone and it's quiet. When everyone has gone back to school and work, and I'm sitting here trying to keep busy. It honestly feels like being punched in the stomach and choked all at once.

If I'm being honest, this is me -- a born worrier. Having peace in stressful situations is not in my nature. It's more like me to have intense anxiety or sink into depression. (Actually, it's also like me to get anxious even without a stressful situation! In every day life I tend to over-analyze and bury myself in doubt.)

So why am I sometimes at peace? Why is it that some days my heart beats slowly and I can breathe comfortably? Because those are the days I've asked God to fill me with His peace. Make no mistake -- it's always a choice to invite God into your mess and stress. No mess is too dirty. No stress is heaped too high.

Often, we turn instead to unhealthy substitutes:
  • Over-eating
  • Drugs and alcohol
  • Codependent relationships
I can't count the number of times I've exhausted all my unhealthy options before turning to the only One who can bring true peace to my soul. You would think I'd learn my lesson once (or 100 times)! No, it's a daily choice. A daily release. A daily surrender. 
"I'm scared. I can't do this alone."
"You don't have to..."

So at these times when I can't breathe, I have a choice: rely on my own strength or rely on God. Today I will make the right choice. I will pray for peace. I will surround myself with loved ones. I will take a walk. I will blog and share my struggle.

What do you do when you can't breathe? Perhaps today is the day for a new choice.

Let's encourage each other,

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philipians 4:7-8


  1. Amen sister Amen! The peace only Jesus can bring is the only true peace there is!

  2. This is beautifully written Emily. Praying for you in this journey.

  3. You are such a talented writer. Praying for the peace and calm to overtake all you are facing.....God is in control and definitely on your side.

  4. Meshelle SeashelleMay 4, 2015 at 12:07 PM

    Beautifully written indeed!! This post has become part of my daily devotional. It is such a great reminder of how I try to live everyday but I have to re-focus myself all day long as I'm a natural worrier too!! Praying for God's peace to fill you on this journey. xoxoxoxo