Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Dear Dr. Superior

You're actually not so dear to me, but my mother raised me to be polite. There are a few things you should know:
  1. You have great expertise. That's why I came to you. But that doesn't give you the right to get angry with me if I choose a different path or a different doctor for a portion of my care... it had nothing to do with you!
  2. When you ramble in condescending tones and look down your nose at me, it is highly disrespectful
  3. Speaking poorly of the nurses and other doctors at your own hospital -- and your peers elsewhere -- is entirely unprofessional.
  4. Inserting your unsolicited opinion in an area beyond your specialty and making me doubt my care  -- the plan of the doctor YOU referred me to  -- is reckless
  5. If I know the facts of my pathology and staging better than you, you lose my trust.
  6. Lastly, when you tell me I'll never be able accomplish a goal, you ignite a fire within me. You don't know me, my history, my strength, or my God. Please note: I was also told I would never get into an ivy league school, move to Georgia, or obtain special education services for my son. I have my RPI master's degree. I've lived in Georgia for 16 years. My son has exactly the services I fought for -- some of which took 3 years to "win." My God gives me supernatural strength to endure life's hardships -- including the load of crap you heaped on me yesterday. I'm not a failure in the making or a quitter... except in this case, because I am quitting YOU. 
Grossly Underestimated

Tips for Learning to Be an Advocate

At some point, you're going to have to fight hard for something or someone. It could be yourself, your spouse, your child, or an aging parent. While I'm not an expert on this subject, I've had lots of experience fighting battles. Here's what I've learned:
  • Do extensive research so you can speak intelligently on the topic.
  • Pray about your decisions and before big meetings.
  • Keep your coolNever resort to anger or ugliness.
  • Bring a tough looking supporter. (Tony always made a great "be afraid of me" face so I could be the polite spokesperson.)
  • Document everything. Sometimes you may even need to record an interaction with full disclosure of course.
  • Know when to raise the stakes, move to arbitration, or move on.
  • Never, ever, ever give up if God has made it clear you are working according to His perfect plan.

"But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us." - Romans 8:37

To help fund my chemotherapy and multiple surgeries, you can make a donation at: -- THANK YOU IN ADVANCE for your generosity. Even $10 makes a big difference.

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